


stuttering over the words that won’t come out of your mouth (you realize yet again that you love him)

by nahiko



Series: Haikyuu!! au week [3]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Dorks in Love, Established Relationship, Fluff, M/M, Romance, hqau week, this didn't turn out exactly how I thought it would but I'm stupidly happy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-08
Updated: 2015-04-08
Packaged: 2018-03-21 23:21:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 880
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3707275
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nahiko/pseuds/nahiko
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>College isn't like high school, and Hinata worries about his future.</p>
            </blockquote>





	stuttering over the words that won’t come out of your mouth (you realize yet again that you love him)

**Author's Note:**

> Later from usual because I couldn't decide what to write ~~when did my writer's block go away that i'm in doubt about the ship and the plot and~~
> 
> Written for the third day of the [Haikyuu!! au week](http://haikyuuauweek.tumblr.com/)  
> (also posted on my [tumblr](http://n-eutronstarcollision.tumblr.com/post/115885551327/stuttering-over-the-words-that-wont-come-out-of))  
> If you find any mistakes, or if you think I should tag something, please, let me know!  
> More than that, I just hope you enjoy :)

When he holds you and

when he kisses you and

when he makes you feel

as if you’re the only one for him,

your heart melts inside your chest

your breath catches in your throat

your hands and lips tremble against his and

your voice stutters over the words because

you realize yet again:

you love him

even more than you did

yesterday

 

Is yet another night before a test, and Hinata doesn’t think his stomach is handling it very well. It’s been a rough week, stressing one, and if he gets more than two hours of sleep this night, he’ll consider himself a lucky guy — but he knows it won’t be happening. He tried texting Kageyama already, but it’s late, and his boyfriend is probably sleeping — he did always have the healthy, though hard, habit of sleeping on his scheduled time, even on weekends —, because he didn’t answer. Hinata kind of envies the other, but just a bit, and part of him is sad they couldn’t talk properly since the second bimester began — almost a month ago.

He misses Tobio. He misses the warmness of his boyfriend’s arms, the soft curve of his lips over Hinata’s owns, he misses his dark blue, indecipherable eyes. But it’s more than this — he misses the feeling of belonging and being loved of when the other will carefully kiss his forehead, he misses the calmness of when they interlace their fingers, he misses the safety that drowns him whenever Tobio is near.

It’s not a new feeling and it hasn’t just appeared out of the blue, but it certainly is increased because of the anxiety and worry, the fear that he’s not yet ready to face college.

He thought he was, but why wouldn’t he? Hinata’s always been okay with people, with talking, social interactions and all. That’s what made him kind of impossible in high school, that got him to know Tobio — the shyest boy ever, that couldn’t even smile naturally without looking as if he planning someone’s death — and, somehow, become his friend.

Okay, maybe they didn’t get that well first, and maybe there had been a lot of fights and hurt feelings before they started hanging out and eventually realized somewhere along the way they fell in love — it doesn’t change the fact that Hinata’s never been anything but comfortable when it comes to interaction related things.

The problem is: college is not high school. He doesn’t have old friends to talk to, he doesn’t have his old duties to fall in a routine he knows, he doesn’t have anything, or anyone, really, to make him feel at ease at any prospect here. People also tend to think he’s childish, immature for his age, and Hinata’s not one to change just because of what others may say about him — but it’s something that stings, and he can’t help but miss the old days, and fear the fact that he’s growing up, growing up fast, and there’s going to be a lot of things expected of him during the next years.

What if he fails? He has essays to write, lectures to attend to, tests to score on. Hinata’s whole future seems so distant and so hard, and he’s not sure he can do it for three more years.

The boy sighs, and drops his head on the calculus book in front of him.

(He hates, hates, _hates_ math)

 

* * *

 

Loud knocks on the door wake him up.

Hinata’s eyes dart to the clock next to his left hand. It’s long past midnight already. Who could it possibly be? A tired groan leaves his mouth, and he’s in doubt whether to ignore whoever it may be or just go open the door already — and ends up choosing the last because now that he’s awake, there’s no way he can possibly come back sleeping.

Damn.

Sleepy, he stands up from his bed, not caring enough to try looking presentable, and stretches, his back aching because of the strange angle he was minutes before.

Maybe it’s his roommate who lost his keys — again. Unsurprisingly grumpy, Hinata is ready to open the stupid door just so he can stare angrily at his forgetting roommate — _he needs to sleep_ —, but the person standing in front of him isn’t his roommate.

Shyly, almost looking unsure of himself, Kageyama smiles, and lifts his cell phone.

“Still having trouble sleeping?”

 

(Hinata won’t tell his boyfriend he’s crazy for going all the way from Kyoto to Tokyo just because he was having trouble sleeping — he’s too happy for that. Maybe it’s not the best hug, or kiss, for the matter, that they’ve ever shared, but they’re both tired; Kageyama tells him it’s not a big thing, but he can’t stop yawning for the first half an hour they pass laying on the bed, just staring at each other’s face)

(Then they’re both sleeping, and if Hinata wakes up too happy, tangled in the confusion of limbs and hands and Kageyama’s face hidden in his chest, or if he goes to does the test with a stupid grin plastered all over his face, no one says anything)

(And the funny fact that he won’t stop thinking about: since they met, Kageyama only ever drinks milk, but his lips taste like caffeine)

 

 


End file.
